I Heart Stella.

La la la la La la la la...

the ocean is about the closest thing to infinity we mortals get to experience…

sitting on the suislaw jetty.

listening to the soothing crash of waves against the rocks, staring off to where the water touches the sky, i can’t help but think how small and insignificant everything is. in the big picture.

i like the smell, too. fresh, salty, a hint of something… living? it’s beautiful, in its own way.

at the end of the jetty is a giant new years eve noisemaker. it’s white. i’m inexplicably drawn to it… i have to go check this out.

it’s a giant air horn, goes off at some preset interval. sending out a secret message:

“hey. don’t sail your boat here. there’s a big effing pile of rocks”

i want to get to the other side, so i wait for it to honk, then run past.

even further out is a lighthouse. if you can call it that. more like a lightpost. almost half a mile into the ocean. it’s not doing too much right now, but it prob’ly blinks or something at night. it’s even solar powered, so they don’t have to worry about it. self-sustaining warning system.

plus, tampering with it is a felony. add that to the list of dumb things to have on your permanent record: putting something other than mail into a mailbox (felony). asking visitors to reload a website (felony charges). internet gambling (felony in washington state). messing with the wrong lightpost (felony).

at the very end there’s an odd little fork in the jetty. like the tip of a snake’s tongue.


there’s another jetty at newport. i’ve never seen it during the day.

it’s beautiful at night.

i went there with a friend. we sat on a rock and talked. we watched boats lit up like they were going somewhere important, passing silently in the dark. we stood on the sand where the waves could almost reach our feet… except for that one freak wave. one piece of it broke away from the rest and went way farther than it should have. just far enough to get me all wet when i wasn’t paying attention. but it was a nice night. not too cool. and the water felt great.

a week later, i went back there again, this time by myself. maybe so i could miss her.

at pismo beach there’s a place at the base of a bluff where the rocks run out into the water.

at high tide the tops are less than a foot above the surf. it’s dark, overcast. not a star in the sky. as i stand on the rocks and look into the ocean, i see nothing. as far as i can tell, the world ends fifty feet from my feet, where i can just make out the first of the waves to break.

they leave a fine white foam behind.

rolling, surging, growing, until they crash into the rocks where i stand, filling the cracks between with turbulent water, which rushes out again almost as fast as it rushed in.

it’s calm. peaceful. soothingly violent.

i feel like jumping in, swimming until i fall off the edge of the earth.

as i glance once upon the foam
40 feet beneath my feet
the coldest calm falls
through the molten veins
cooling all the blood to slush
that congeals around the brain

oh, La la la la La la la la La la la la La la la la la...

This article was posted by Justin Hileman on 30 July 2006, and is filed under california, jetty, musing and ocean. If you have any comments, please contact me or leave a comment on this article.